Sunny day;
Today, should be a happiest day for this few months for me;
I never thought I have that feeling after met you;
But I felt lost; I'm so lost;
'Love', I'm scared of it;
I'm be in two minds; Turn my step back, or be brave and move on;
For my trait of being irresolute; I'm really lacking firmness of our love this time;
I need courage; I need lots and lots of help; I'm confusing;
It's so emptiness, loneliness, and loss;
This is first time I feel so down; Down with no actual reason;
I don't know what is happening; What I'm doing;
What I'm going to face; What's going to happen on me;
God, I just want a simple life; I just need someone who care and love me that's enough;
What for I can't even sure my own feeling even;
My scared are drowned my love; my mind; even myself too;
I can't feel my heart anymore; Can't feel it beating until hardly breathe;
Tomorrow, which is my lunar birthday, we date and be with each other;
Who knows, your family having problem and you gonna back to them;
Well, its fine for me;
Coz' what I need is not your accompany but my heart back;
If you can return it back to me... I'll do whatever; I swear;
I felt the emptiness that I never had now;
I told myself not to cry when my birthday;
Be strong girl, just a difficulty in love, you'll be alright;
Be strong, what a acid and painful word; for who in love;
Well, 15mins to go;
Happy birthday to me;
I wish; I could be fine, with my heart;
Big sun with howling wind;
Complicated relationship that I having, now;
I'm kinda like blindly fall in love with 'him';
No matter what 'he' said, even that's so obviously is just a lie;
I'll just forgive or try to understand 'him' and leave it;
Or maybe 'he' don't even know by his own what's the problem;
Or maybe 'He' don't know what love is;
Or maybe 'he' just don't know how to love me anymore;
I knew I'll regret when get back to 'him';
But what I'm still doing this;
I keep asking myself why why why;
Why am I doing this;
What for I'm still doing this;
I remember my ex. principal said that;
once you repeat to do a thing in everyday;
It will become your habit and used to it after 19times;
So what's for me if I'd with 'him' for so long;
What's left; Nothing because I'm in;
Love can't be blind until knowing it will spoil my life, but still going on;
I knew this; I'm scared too;
But what, I don't know why I'm still think like can be nothing and we'll be ok;
We must knock ourselves out to get through the difficulty;
I'm confident with it because I want to do it;
I wanna feel 'him' happiness;
I want 'him' to feel the happiness that 'he' never did;
I want 'him' to be happy;
These are all the reason for me to stand until now;
We gone through many troubles and sadness;
But of course, we understand each other quite much;
To become conscious of what the next step each other will do;
Well, couple, should be like that right;
I know I shouldn't make everything like so serious;
Sometimes I need to learn how to take it easy;
For how to manage a relationship;
Wow, wonder how I gonna do it and make it;
Happiness, waiting there?
Fine and cloudless
Since last break up day, I feel much more better now;
Even I still crying and still ask myself to be strong;
But the most important thing to support me until today is,
Still 'him';
We keep messaging each other even we broke up;
We still talking about our problem; without any hostile;
I'm confusing why;
A couple, can not talk nicely when they're together;
Only know how to stand for own view;
But when breaking up, heart broken,
The concern only shown in succession;
Is it human being to be like that; to be foolishly;
I'm appreciate that 'he' still care about me that much;
'He' felt so sorry for saying that sentence to me;
Ya that's really a sentence which hurt me the most;
But one more thing;
He did something;
No matter how I tell myself that's just a normal thing that guys will do;
But I just can't, I can't accept it;
'He' smoke;
Well, I knew this is so childish to force a guy not to smoke;
But since 'his' health is not that good;
And he's the only son in 'his' family; *included parents and grandparents*
How can 'he' spoil his health as he like or don't like;
'He' used to smoke before, but 'he' choose to quit smoking;
I tried to controlled him; and 'he' control himself getting less to smoking;
Around half year after;
At last, 'he' stop smoking already;
So hard to did that;
I hate;
Why 'he's' so irresponsible and selfish; to himself, to me, to his family;
I'm so shock that how 'he' can't just broke a thing or promise so free and easy;
Before that, I still thinking is it this time again we'll back together;
I have a flash that we are going back together;
But what, you did that; You hurt yourselves and everyone who loves you;
I...
Just can't... I don't know what to do;
I hate this feeling;
I hate I still hoping for us;
I hate to be like a jerky;
I hate that I love you;
I hate myself;
Why... ♥I love you♥...
