Fine and cloudless
Since last break up day, I feel much more better now;
Even I still crying and still ask myself to be strong;
But the most important thing to support me until today is,
Still 'him';
We keep messaging each other even we broke up;
We still talking about our problem; without any hostile;
I'm confusing why;
A couple, can not talk nicely when they're together;
Only know how to stand for own view;
But when breaking up, heart broken,
The concern only shown in succession;
Is it human being to be like that; to be foolishly;
I'm appreciate that 'he' still care about me that much;
'He' felt so sorry for saying that sentence to me;
Ya that's really a sentence which hurt me the most;
But one more thing;
He did something;
No matter how I tell myself that's just a normal thing that guys will do;
But I just can't, I can't accept it;
'He' smoke;
Well, I knew this is so childish to force a guy not to smoke;
But since 'his' health is not that good;
And he's the only son in 'his' family; *included parents and grandparents*
How can 'he' spoil his health as he like or don't like;
'He' used to smoke before, but 'he' choose to quit smoking;
I tried to controlled him; and 'he' control himself getting less to smoking;
Around half year after;
At last, 'he' stop smoking already;
So hard to did that;
I hate;
Why 'he's' so irresponsible and selfish; to himself, to me, to his family;
I'm so shock that how 'he' can't just broke a thing or promise so free and easy;
Before that, I still thinking is it this time again we'll back together;
I have a flash that we are going back together;
But what, you did that; You hurt yourselves and everyone who loves you;
I...
Just can't... I don't know what to do;
I hate this feeling;
I hate I still hoping for us;
I hate to be like a jerky;
I hate that I love you;
I hate myself;
Why... ♥I love you♥...
